I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is