Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

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(586): All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon http://tfl.nu/3qwx

Replies (4) Good night (1188) Bad night (624)
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(614): View more from Ohio

shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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(614): shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way http://tfl.nu/s2k7

Replies (3) Good night (1116) Bad night (1278)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater

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(717): Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater http://tfl.nu/n56s

Replies (17) Good night (3448) Bad night (1190)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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(978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy

Replies (24) Good night (1332) Bad night (4934)
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(214): View more from Texas

Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.

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(214): Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me. http://tfl.nu/heot

Replies (14) Good night (1101) Bad night (4666)
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(561): View more from Florida

No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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(561): No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south http://tfl.nu/5xop

Replies (4) Good night (2649) Bad night (837)
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(425): View more from Washington

They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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(425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7

Replies (3) Good night (3569) Bad night (861)
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(727): View more from Florida

at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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(727): at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry. http://tfl.nu/0y0u

Replies (8) Good night (2676) Bad night (915)
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(972): View more from Texas

I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

(214): View more from Texas

Does it taste like semen?

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(972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv

Replies (10) Good night (4456) Bad night (1592)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

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(519): Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him. http://tfl.nu/z0om

Replies (3) Good night (1498) Bad night (756)
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(256): View more from Alabama

So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.

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(256): So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome. http://tfl.nu/71bx

Replies (16) Good night (986) Bad night (2342)
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(518): View more from New York

Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

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(518): Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top! http://tfl.nu/ukef

Replies (1) Good night (1587) Bad night (588)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Cockoligist

(587): View more from Alberta

Yes, one may refer to me as that.

(587): View more from Alberta

I should make business cards.

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(780): Cockoligist (587): Yes, one may refer to me as that. (587): I should make business cards. http://tfl.nu/nsw3

Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (501)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.

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(303): Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion. http://tfl.nu/tcgp

Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (327)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH

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(865): I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH http://tfl.nu/s3s4

Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (403)

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