Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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