Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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  (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h
  Replies (136) Good night (7558) Bad night (55668)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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  (717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv
  Replies (89) Good night (3001) Bad night (485)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (3010)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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  (816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat http://tfl.nu/j8dy
  Replies (20) Good night (5268) Bad night (749)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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  (404): he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip. http://tfl.nu/ir9l
  Replies (9) Good night (908) Bad night (3891)
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  (510): View more from California

  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

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  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
  Replies (27) Good night (1201) Bad night (7597)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  like it was yesterday

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  (240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org
  Replies (20) Good night (11640) Bad night (1160)
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  (951): View more from California

  It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.

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  (951): It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle. http://tfl.nu/s5be
  Replies (15) Good night (948) Bad night (3647)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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  (717): Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain? http://tfl.nu/uh45
  Replies (6) Good night (2401) Bad night (1257)
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  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4109) Bad night (759)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (329)
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  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (676)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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  (678): He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2bus
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (261)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.

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  (512): Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort. http://tfl.nu/chyw
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (206)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.

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  (407): When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night. http://tfl.nu/dw2v
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (184)

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