hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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