The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dear god my vagina.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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