you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
