69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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