Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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