ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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