Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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