I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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