How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
third nipple confirmed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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