You're so nebulous sometimes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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