i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
