do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
