Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
As shirtless as possible
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
