She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
