Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
