sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
