The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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