Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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