Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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