if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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