I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
