But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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