The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
