Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize