I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
