I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
