i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
