Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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