My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
