we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
