Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
