I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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