glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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