There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
