Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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