so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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