Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
