No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize