Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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