i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
