What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
