Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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