Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Damn victory sex feels great
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
