don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
