I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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