She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
a search helicopter?!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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