just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize