tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
