After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
