You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
