he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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