i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How external is "for external use only"?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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