by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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