Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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