There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
