I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
