I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
