he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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